So welcome to the discipline of freedom podcast. This is Eilish. Bouschet your host. Today, we're going to speak about relationships and communicating to be understood. I'm titling this one. Are you speaking your client's language? Because if you're not speaking their language, It's likely that your message is not landing. So I will really want to bring you back into that space of presence. Of choosing words. That they would use that they resonate with. And remember always the stories that you tell they're in service of. Your clients of moving them forward. Bringing them in inside of giving them. A different point of view. Your stories are not in service of you. Your stories are in service of those who are listening to you. Thank you for being here. And now let's get into it. So for years, I thought I was difficult. Not difficult in the way that people who described themselves as easygoing. Rarely if ever are, but difficult in that I asked questions and wasn't afraid to go against convention. If I discovered there was another better way for me, for us, for all. I would have been super happy to propose that. But have you ever noticed that people who cause waves. Often make others feel uncomfortable, like people who are willing to confront a situation. I often joke in Australia that Sam. If anybody says anything, controversial at a dinner party. That suddenly everybody says. Um, anything else on for the weekend? Like, whereas in Ireland, You hear somebody saying something controversial? People kind of begin to rub their hands together and think the nicest butter pup. But there's no fear that they won't talk to each other the following day. And if anything, they'll be saying. Jesus. Didn't Mary get a real rise out at Johnny. And that might be the purpose of Mary being super controversial is for, to get a rise out of somebody. So it's kind of a way of playing. Um, But different cultures deal with confrontation and very, very different ways. And of course, you know, be now she probably rare dentists considering. I was brought up at the time of the troubles. But. We could do a whole podcast on that maybe in areas or score for your season, but this is Libra season and Libra seeks harmony. So I want to talk about relationships. And how to build and navigate them in your work and life. So while you're in service of the relationships, they also serve you well, Libra. Is totally an absolutely about relationship. Everything is relationship first. It's archetypes are the judge, the advocate, the diplomat. And so as a way of showing you how this works, let me return to me thinking of this difficult. So it bothered me. So I tried to be more compliant to fit in. So this is Libra and it's unskillful expression. Also known as people please say. But mostly it didn't work. Even when I thought to, did you see, it was never in my DNA to go too far from my own nature. But that didn't stop me trying. Because the tension that I felt in others, I'm a Pisces rising, natural. Meant that I really tried to go along with things. So this people please inside of me and we all have us. For me, it's in my eighth house. I compromise myself. So in relationships, I felt lucky to be chosen. So I tried not to ruffle their feathers and work. I tried not to buck the system, even when I felt it was compromising the outcome for the clients we were certifying. This would have been, particularly when I was working in agencies. So later I would see in my chart that disruption is. Wired into me, particularly in my day today in my sixth house. You can usually spot this with your Uranus placement. And so. When from my humble point of view, things are just silly or others are blind to what I would consider it to be the bleeding obvious. I have learned that rather than, you know, pointing that out. Get curious and I'll say, oh, so tell me more about that. So I can indulge in one of my favorite things to do, which is a bit of pattern spotting. There should be a club for us. Pattern spotters. But anyway, so a story. Long before I do that. Miss spiritual work. All right. I do too. And this should work in a conscious way. I was two days into a symposium while I was running the design course at a university. It was a new job for me at that point in time. When I found myself standing up. I had been missing to academics for two days, complaining and whining. About how they couldn't get promoted and how their teaching node was compromising their research. And, and, and we've all been in these situations. And among this was a constant. A consistent whinge that the university was hiring people. Less qualified than them for more senior positions. What her. Infidels. So I'd sat in my hand for those two days feeling judged and less than, and then I found my voice. It felt better to face this head on than hide behind us. I stood up. And as I found my courage, I heard myself saying I wanted those people. I don't have a PhD. But in my specific area, what matters more is industry experience? To be able to teach the students problem solving in a way that can use their intellectual curiosity. To produce tangible outcomes that can be implemented. In practical situations. And I'm clarified and credible. To teach this because I have done this in global design centers, such as New York, San Francisco, London. And at that point in Sydney working. With global companies and people at the top of their game, and I went on to say that what I don't understand. And what's perplexing me over the last few days is that you complain. But I haven't heard anybody seem to be. Proposing are even seeking a solution. No, I'm pretty new here, but already I can see that there's a system in place and in my experience, You need to learn how the system works so you can navigate it. So while you are bringing your best to it. And when you do, usually that system will serve you. And in this case, Maybe it might even promote you. You get to choose. At what level? You want to play this game? Silence filled the room, you could have cut the air with a knife. It felt as though time had stopped. And we'd enter it some other world, some other universe. Where they'd never seen it this way. You know, as I reflected on it later, I thought, oh my God, are they like fish and water? They've no clue that they were in it. So later I would build a design agency and consults to clients, myself. And realized that this was my job to see what others couldn't see, because they were too close to it. To connect the dots and offer solutions or possibilities that they were blind to. I called it divining their gems. So this fish and water thing, there's an actual term for it. It's called the only of expertise. And. There's various stages in my own. Work and life. Where I've encountered it because I've fallen victim to it's myopia to. Now I tell the story because all branding is storytelling. And you don't just want to tell good stories. You want the outcome of good stories? You want stories? That build relationships. That plant seeds that invite a new perspective that might even inspire those, hearing it to hire you. So they can unstick themselves from their looping narrative. And so that they get into action. After charting a new course and they have the motivation and the energy. They're really clear on why they're doing what they're doing and who they are to do it. And they will follow through with it. So do you know that the stories you tell yourself influence the stories you tell others and like those academics, whether you tell yourself you can, or you can't you're right. So you see the stories you tell others you tell to influence. To share your point of view. To demonstrate your ability. You want your stories to be compelling because. Stories are just hardwired into humans. It's how we learn. It's how we connect. It's how we share. You want them to be engaging and you want to breathe? Uh, vitality into them. So your audience can create their own meaning. Inspired by your words and your way of being in the world. Remember everything is frequency. So it's like this energetic vibration that's running through. What you're saying? And how you're saying this. As they say. In Harlem. It's how you tell them. So through your stories, you build relationships as others see themselves in your stories, they see it in your vulnerability. They see it in your strength. And they see it in. Your approach. And they can only be that way. If you speak. To your audience in a way they understand. And your stories can only be that way. If you speak to your audience in a way that they understand. See, you must use words. That connect them with themselves. So maybe you seek for them to buy into your point of view. Or to enter into the conversation with you. You see you can't open minds. If your stories don't. Open and touch their hearts. And to do that, you need to know whom you wish to connect with. And what stories are specifically yours to tell? What specific stories they can see themselves in. And in what context to tell them. And who will be listening in that world. So, this is very much Libra territory. It's like one great big murmur on the wall. It shows me how I'm relating to you. So, what does that show you? About me. How do you feel about me as I'm telling the story? What does that show me about what I care about and what I am willing to show up. And do again and again. It's the world we're engaging with. Is it welcoming? Is it nurturing? Is it aligned? Is it expanding or is it contracting. And as you know, it can take a while to find your world and we can't discover. It by reading about it or listening or just consuming, we actually have to get out and interact with the world. We have to enter into the arena as Bernay brown, I'd say. And we often have to explore many worlds before we find the one that we're most suited to play and work in. We have to learn its language. The poet, Dave white talks about that. You can't enter a world. In which you have no language. So to be an astrologer, you need to learn the cosmic language to be a designer. You need to learn. Creative language to be credible in the world of finance. You need to understand P and L's budget, forecasting and balance sheets. Now my eyes tend to glaze over in that world. And even more quickly in the medical world, but if I want to work in the area of finance, I need to get intimate with their jargon. To enter into dialogue with your intuition. You must become conversant in the language of creation. And practice using your intuition. Start with cutting that perfect parking spot. So as I was pondering all of this, I realized I've been straddling the worlds of creativity, yoga, astrology. And likely confusing are alienating. Some people. And also calling some people in closer. For instance. Liminal. The word liminal. The word, transitional and threshold are all variants on transformational. In the context of process of change. They're described in between spaces, but they signal very differently. To different audiences to different people. I'll do a whole podcast on how words create our world soon. But that's the point of using specific words in your messaging? And this is Libra building relationships. You can't. Enter a world for which you have no language. It's to allow your audience. To serve, select that you are for them. The ones who get you and want to know more. Are those whom you want to subscribe and stick around? And see what you're there to offer them. So these are the people you are in service of and your job is to be clear in your communication. But how you can help them. And give them value with each and every communication, which is what this podcast is about. Provide people. So we communicate to be understood. And if we're not using the language of our audience, we can fail to connect with them. I stories need to resonate. Our audience needs to be able to see. And feel themselves and our communications. Y you might ask. Resonance stories are magnetic. They pull people in. They want to know more. When writing, we need to ask. Who exactly were in conversation with. What we want them to know, to feel and to do. So firstly, when you begin to write or you begin to speak you want to connect with a message that wants to come through, you. It's what I call the power of the polls. So you're centering yourself in yourself. To find your intention. Asking what it is that wants to come through you to be in conversation. To be in connection with others. This is storytelling as your pathway to work as purposeful and profitable play. We need agility here and agility emerges from a deep trust in ourselves. Trusting that you know what you know. And beyond that, which is really the space of where you. Allow yourself to open to your channel. Is to trust what emerges in that exact moment. Knowing what words and stories work. In every situation in every moment with each person. To know how to change gears. To read the audience. And you notice this, like you notice your rhythm, you notice how this works in a different way. And you can't do this without being. Present with yourself without being deeply connected. To yourself in that moment. And when we forget this. We tend to get into that Headspace of trying to prove. I'm trying to belong to project a certain image. And when we lose the connection, the people receiving can feel that they can hear it in your voice. They can feel it in your righto. And they can feel it in your pain. So you can't arrive in this place of presence where you just. No, what you know, you've embodied your own practice, even bodied your own. Knowledge you've embodied your own expertise. Malcolm Gladwell talks about this, about, you know, the 10,000 hour rule. Because it's in writing that we've become writers. It's in painting. It's in practicing. That we become painters. You don't become adept in the kitchen without cocaine. Without burning your hands a few times. We come to know our ingredients and how they influence the taste, the texture, the temperature of a dish. We learned to weave our words through using them. Through finding the threads that connect. And tie the narrative together. We learn about pace and tempo and rhythm and structure. Through speaking out loud. Through telling stories. We learn how to navigate the dips and peaks. And appreciate the narrative arc as we progress. To become a Weaver of words in our own world. So after years of working with clients, I came to realize I wasn't there to teach them anything. I wasn't there to be. The expert, my expertise was really about. Showing them the magic they already held within themselves. I was there to hold a safe space for them to explore and discover themselves. To provide a process and a pathway that would allow that magic to be pulled out. To witness the words as they formed. And life was breathed into them. And as this occurred, Memory's both beautiful and challenging often emerge. Stories that had formed them stories. They had buried. Like it's a remembering. As they found the pieces of the jigsaws of their lives. That were long mislaid. And with these stories. Potency power. Confidence trust. It's reclaimed. It's like being a. Doula of some sorts. Prompting and poking for the circuits to be reconnected. Igniting the power within themselves. And I can. It's amazing when you see this happen in a workshop. It's amazing when you see. The energy shift and people like, can you just see this lightness? You see. It's like as if they release. What has been keeping them stock Tension leaves their faces. Tension leaves their bodies. And it's almost like they expend in front of you. And that's my job. It isn't to do. The work for you. My work is for you to find it within yourself, to be your wing woman, as it were. As you dive and you divine to discover. And declare the stories that matter to you. The ones that were later. Really provide that fuel. To inspire you into action. That creates a momentum that moves you and your projects forward. And it's almost always about reframing the stories you tell yourself. So it's like you suddenly catch a glance of yourself in the mirror and your reflection has changed. Now you're not afraid to look. You have the power and the confidence and the courage. To hold your own gaze. Yeah. Curious about who this person is. This person with a different story. And how this story, this new story. Could shape you. Whom could you become. You've been thought not to look too closely. You've been told it's been, but without getting intimate with this person, You can't know what you're capable of. Do you want to test yourself? And you want to question yourself? And you want to discover what you can rely on. You. To deliver. Maybe you could even inspire yourself by the possibilities. That you now see in this new version of yourself. And so as a consequence, you need to tell you inspiring stories of how you have done that for yourself. And gather them as you bravely and courageously stare that mirror. Asking yourself for those stories and capturing them. So that you can use them later. speaking your client's language communicating to be understood. And this is Libra building relationships. So that's my Libra transmission for you. Just before the Libra new moon. It's eclipse season with the new moon in Libra. There's a conjunction to the south node, black moon Lilith. So always ever really powerful energy for two. Really bring us back into our sovereignty. And mercury and June are there for good measure. So expect churn. Have a pen and a voice recorder at the ready to gather those stories. I will often, you know, do some writing and then I will go for a walk and I voice record any new insights that come to me. As I'm on my walk. So. If you fancy working with me, I have four one-to-one spots open this month. I love one-to-one work. And I get to work with some amazing people who are doing good things in this world. And as we get into this specific projects and the life and work challenges. That they are grappling with. We all are in one way or another. I've noticed over the years that it varies. Time, certain themes and patterns. Keep on coming up. I could propose that it's the astrology of the moment or is it just the people who choose to work with me? All of them come from completely different backgrounds. They've all got very, very different charts. I would say that it's a bit of both. And of course I get clients who hire me for my expertise and my specific point of view. But I can't help, but notice the common themes and it gives me an insight. Into what's happening in the wider world. What the zeitgeists is concerned with at this moment in time. And it's why I do what I do. It helps me put some pieces. And that great big jigsaw. That we're all putting together so I can bring that to these newsletters and to the offers that I create for you. So, if you want to work with me, Shoot me an email. And if there's something in particular you want me to talk about, please do let me know. And thank you for being here. I really do appreciate your time and your attention. And until soon. With love, always. You can find out more on my website. Alish, appreciate.com. And on Instagram. At Eilish. Appreciate thank you for listening. And until next time. Wishing you a wonderful day. Thank you to Aon for the wonderful music. You can find on Spotify.